Testament 66: Doing things my way

It was my journey down the self made way that I encountered him. He didn’t look like the red guy with horns and a pitchfork that my mother warned me about. His appearance was that of an angel of light. He offered me “paradise now.” He spoke my language. Why wait for heaven later when…

Testament 65: Beware of counterfeit theology

I once had a Mormon woman tell me that she follows Jesus too. She even invited me to her church. But she wouldn’t step foot into my church or any nonmormon church for that matter. I’m still new to the west coast and well Mormonism is something that is foreign to me because in the…

 Testament 64: what God has to say about our “politics”

I feel like everyday someone somewhere is protesting something. I know these mass protests taking place all over the world are intended to stir the leaders of the world. In reality someone bigger than a politician is being stirred. See, a protest is nothing more than a prayer. There’s absolutely nothing more powerful than a…

Testament 63: being His hands and feet

Heading back to the states from Tijuanna, Sergio says to Ken “let’s go back.” It’s like he stepped up and said what I was feeling…what everyone in our little van was feeling. When we arrived to Tijuana, everyone kept looking at me…waiting to see the culture shock. It was my first overseas mission. I’ve never…

Testament 62: wrong is still wrong even when it’s trending 

The hypocrisy of Hollywood is disturbing. Kevin Spacey, currently has allegations of sexual misconduct with a teenage boy from an incident that occurred in 1983. At The time Spacey was 24 years old. Right now, there’s a film being released titled “Call me by your name.” The film is set in 1983 and is about…

Testament 61: Be in it but not of it (passing through)

God gives us free will and the freedom to follow His way. He also gives us the freedom to follow our own path. God giving us the liberty to choose does not mean that God tolerates sin. He does not! When we fight against God to do things our way, He permits us to teach…

Testament 60: my wake up call

 It was around 5am in the morning when I received the call. Since I was sleeping and the time was wildly inappropriate, I ignored it. However, getting back to sleep became impossible. I was overtaken by this gut wrenching feeling. Right then, I knew that something bad happened. I picked up my phone and listened…

Testament 59: mercy 

A prophet by the name of Nathan went to his king and said this: “There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He…

Testament 58: my prayer

My face feels like it’s on fire. I’ve been crying pretty heavily and the acne medication I use does not agree with the chemistry of my tears because each one that flows down my face burns. It literally hurts to cry; nevertheless, the tears continue to stream down my face. A question runs across my…

Testament 57: finding rest

A leather bound book on my patient’s bedside table caught my eye. I asked her about it. Truthfully, I knew exactly what I was looking at. I was simply finding an excuse to strike up a conversation concerning the one thing I just can’t shut up about 😊. She went on to tell me that…

Testament 56: Staying on the trail

I really enjoy hiking. Its an outlet for me. The picture above is of a deer 🦌 I stumbled upon during one of my hikes. He was actually the 2nd deer that crossed my path that day. The 1st was much larger. I had absolutely no interest in getting a picture of that one. See,…

Testament 55: how to measure your worth 

If I use the magazines that line the checkout area of any grocery store for my philosophies, I would come to the conclusion that in order to be of any worth I must be young, thin, beautiful, healthy, rich and popular. Each one of these qualities that an individual lacks makes him or her less worthwhile….

Testament 54: Diet crazy 

His frustration towards me came to a boiling point. I just couldn’t understand why he couldn’t understand. I decided with or without him, this is what I will do. He became angry with me. How could I become cold and turn my back to him so easily? I felt a whisper come over me and…

Testament 53: Strength in weakness 

Three weeks ago if someone told me there was going to be a mass shooting in Vegas, I would have assumed I’d be in the trenches doing the nursing thing i.e. wound vacs, chest tubes, q2h pain meds, neuro checks, monitoring h&h and so on and so forth. Funny thing, the one skill I’m least…

Testament 52: Can a leopard change its spots? Part 2

I want to ensure that all who saw the picture of the cub leopard feeding off of the Lion understand the meaning. This is the second part of “Can a leopard change its spots” First you need to know what Jesus said when the disciples urged Him to eat. “But He said to them, “My food,…

Testament 51: Can a leopard change its spots?

One Sunday, my mother, my two sisters, and I were walking down a country dirt road. I was around the age of 7 at the time. I was a pretty active kid. I enjoyed the outdoors: climbing trees, playing in the sand, playing in the woods (you know the things kids use to do before…

Testament 50: The latter day merry-go-round 

If I am being completely honest, I have been going in circles for the vast majority of my life. It’s an embarrassing omission really; however, it is true. These days everything is happening so fast. Everyone is moving so fast. The thing about moving at such a momentum at all times while simultaneously going in…

Testament 49: Being His instrument

Writing about the things I do isn’t easy. Honestly, I tiptoe alot to keep myself from sounding like chicken little; that is, a small insignificant nobody who everyone thinks is just scared and crazy. 
I’m sure some people may color me as a religious nut who is using a book to explain the things I do…

Testament 48: Pressing on

Yesterday was difficult. I felt quite discouraged. I prepared myself to pray. Instantly, a thought comes into mind; that prayer is trivial. I prayed anyway. It was a battle just to pray because the discouragement was overwhelming. I prayed anyway. It’s as if I could hear this little voice that was more than a voice…

Testament 47: Are you Sober?

I started writing a little over a year ago. About six months into it, I began to feel I was headed in the wrong direction. So, I stopped writing. Instead I read the entire Holy Bible cover-to-cover. I grew up in the church and I read a lot of the scriptures and many of the…

Testament 46: Conversion 

From a young age, I learned the rituals, prayers and fundamentals of my faith. For many years, I practiced them all on a regular basis without a true understanding of why I was doing what I was doing. When my faith became ritualistic, it lost any real meaning. See, I can know the sinners prayer,…

Testament 45: Atonement 

She doesn’t remember her trip nor does she remember the events that lead up to her swim but none of it really mattered. She found excitement, adventure, and elation within those foreign waters. While snorkeling around the sandbar a cave in the distance catches her eyes. Intrigued, she swims towards it. As she approaches the structure,…

Testament 44: Sustained 

Since I’m not a fan of engaging in trivial conquests like reinventing the wheel, I’d like to take an ancient approach to a seemingly novice affliction (anxiety). Here’s some pearls of wisdom “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.”‭‭ (Ecclesiastes‬ ‭1:9‬)…

Testament 43: My pledge

My heart is heavy for the misplaced child. Why do I care so much. Why can’t I just leave people to their own devices. Why am I burdened with reaching the lost? I have been accused of being pushy, overzealous and fanatical. I want to be effective, yet I must hold back so that I…

Testament 42: All IN

My friend looked at me and said “You know when you start on with your ranting about Jesus people are taken back. They think you’re just crazy…like the character from “Orange is the New Black.” She’s Christian and always talking about Jesus and saying crazy stuff. Her teeth are black and the other characters make…

Testament 41: All I need 

I drive my husband crazy holding onto recycled containers i.e. pickle jars, detergent containers, cream cheese containers, foil pans. He thinks I’m just junking up his cabinets. He says when people come over it’s embarrassing. He says, “I’ll open up my cabinets just to give someone a cup and the entire thing is full of…

Testament 40: our assurance 

The cornerstone of insurance companies marketing is the selling of peace of mind; That is, when uncertain times come, your insurance company will take care of you.Allstate makes quite a bold and godlike statement. Their message of those hands with the palms opened and cupped together says: “I will take care of you, trust me.”…

Testament 39: my gem

I found a gem in my husband. He is humble, kind, sincere and loyal. He is the only person that has stepped into my life that has not walked away. I have pushed him to do so many times but he wouldn’t have it. The closer I draw to God, the more I am able…

Testament 38: He is good, always

When I feel like complaining, I say thank you instead. When I feel disappointment coming over me, I turn my back to it, smile and say thank you. When I feel worry inching its way into my direction, I pray, say thank and then I rest. What else can I say really? If I complain,…

Testament 37: Self check 

I recently got to see myself from a unique angle. Although I was looking at another individual, I felt, as though, I was looking in the mirror. It wasn’t a pretty picture, so I did some self-soothing telling myself that I was a milder version of the woman I observed. Yet, am I?    …

Testament 36: proof  

In a discussion, my good friend says to me: “If only God performed miracles as He did in the scriptures then people would believe.” I nearly fell out of my chair after hearing such a remark. I went on to prove that Jesus, in fact, is STILL in the miracle performing business. I found myself…

Testament 35: abandoning doubt

It’s been a year now since I took that proverbial leap. I’ve walked many miles to avoid this way; however, every direction I turned, ultimately lead me to the same place. Keeping the faith isn’t easy. Truthfully, if it were up to me, I would fail. I know this because in the past I have…

Testament 34: a good read, cover to cover

I’ve been meaning to finish this book for years but quite often, I’d pick it up, get preoccupied with life and put it down. By neglecting discipline, I was doing myself a huge disservice.Without direction, my life became empty, trivial and worrisome. I became worn down by anxiety. There just never seemed to be an…

Testament 33: man’s best friend 

I left my bedroom door open in order to keep my room cooler through the night. I would live to regret that this morning. My sleep was interrupted by a giant dog jumping onto my back and stamping all over my head so she could get to the one she loves the most, Cam.Annoyed, I…

Testament 32: our driving force 

I find it remarkable how people I don’t know, people I’ve never spoken to, can share the same thoughts as me. I’ll think something…well, it’s more than a thought. It’s like an idea that spontaneously takes root in me. This concept causes me to think and feel a certain way. Days later, I will find…

Testament 31: He is enough 

I have found that the toughest times to be a Christian are the moments when God disappears. This week, my daughter’s heart was crushed. I wanted so badly to “fix” things; however, the entire situation is completely out of my power to “fix.” So each day I’ve stood by my sweet pie being the mother…

Testament 30: the exit appeal 

I’ve been hearing a lot of talk that suggests that people can’t get help with mental illness because of the stigma attached to it. Maybe….Thing is, I have encountered many people who struggle with mental illness that are quite vocal. In fact, they are vocal all the way to the grave. Discussion is just one…

Testament 29: Who gets the adulation

I have always viewed myself in the likeness of royalty; that is, everyone and everything that existed, did so for my pleasure. No wonder I lived 20 plus years as a “Christian” without a real relationship with Christ. See, all of creation exists for God’s pleasure not vice versa. God does not exist to serve…

Testament 28: He tests those He loves

About 4 years ago, I had the worst time finding a job. Several months went by and I grew frustrated. I thought once I graduated, the hardest part of my life was behind me. I felt like God had let me down. People who didn’t even acknowledge God were  getting jobs left and right. Then…

 Testament 27: Be vigilant 

I have this reoccurring theme in my dreams where I’m protecting a child. In my latest dream, a male child and I were standing outside in a high traffic area. People were coming and going as people do, business as usual. I looked up and noticed that someone who was using the clouds above as a…

Testament 26: His word is our bond

Someone saying they do not believe in God is like a fly buzzing around me while chanting: “I don’t believe in you.” It’s laughable because I could squat such a silly little fly with absolutely no effort at all. When I speak of belief concerning God it’s not a matter of Him existing or not;…

Testament 25: His way

I’m often taken back by how brutish behaviors have become normalized. It reminds me of a bumper sticker I once saw that stated “rude, it’s a movement” Because of this, I find being in the company of children refreshing. It’s as if the air in adult world is toxic and suffocating. Whereas the air in…

 Testament 24: don’t be deceived 

With deception running a muck, even the most vigilant person can find themselves ensnared by this elusive craft. How can you tell whether or not you have fallen under deception? Those who are under deception live a self serving life. Such individuals discounts scripture as irrelevant or allegorical. These are dangerous times to live by…

Testament 23: redemption draweth nigh

For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first. Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air:…

Testament 22: The stage is set

Dr. E Stanley Jones spoke at a university in India. After he completed his speech, the Hindu president of the university stood up and solemnly said this “If what this man says is not true, then it doesn’t matter. If what he says is true, nothing else matters.” So what exactly did Dr. Jones say…

Testament 21: No turning back 

I was stagnant. I was living the movie “ground hog day;” that is, I was going through the same story over and over. I was going in circles. See, I said I accepted Christ but there was really no distinction between me and anyone else. I went through all the motions; however, my heart was…

Testament 20: a condition of the heart 

I’ve written a lot on anxiety because I know this area all too well. I feel compelled to write about it because it’s something I thought would be my end. Now, I laugh because I can’t believe I was so bent out of shape over everything…over nothing. The whole experience actually reminds me of a…

Testament 19: Be confident, Be still

Quite often my faith is challenged. It is shaken because I frequently suffer from spiritual amnesia; that is, when life gets tough, I forget who God is. See, no matter what the circumstances are, Jesus reigns. No matter who comes up against me, God is still in control. God is sovereign; that is, He holds…

Testament 18: transformed 

A few months ago, I felt as though something was taking me over. It’s as if a small fire was ignited inside of me. Now it has spread to every part of who I am. It’s so severe, that if my words were to materialize, fire would come from my mouth. I didn’t understand it,…

Testament 17: the anxiety trap

Me declaring my own sovereignty lead to total chaos in my life. I thought being in control would bring me peace because I would always know what to expect. By attempting to take matters into my own hands, I placed myself in a position of authority that belongs solely to God. God is not going…

Testament 16: the distance between what’s seen and unseen

It seems the deeper I venture into this walk, the more sensitive I become to the spiritual world. Most people steer clear of this subject. Truth is, the more time unfolds the thinner the veil between the natural and supernatural worlds become. Most people think that the world has simply gone mad. What’s happening around…

Testament 15: faithful 

The most challenging aspect of this walk is keeping the faith. I have found that everything I have been through has done one of two things for me: strengthen my faith or put it to the test. I struggled for a long time with my role as a Christian. It’s not that I was ignorant…

Testament 14: friendship with the world is enmity with God

So, I had an interesting conversation with someone concerning my walk. I have been accused of walking the road to becoming a social hermit. Just because I don’t run with the same crowd doesn’t mean I’m closed for business. See, Christ has transformed my thoughts and now I’m about only one thing, My Fathers business….

Testament 13: This wave will be overcame by gravity 

My daughter had a dream she was sitting on the beach with her brother. In a moment, a great wave grew, forming a wall that towered high above her. The wave suddenly fell crashing down onto her and like a toy float she simply rose to the top of the wave unharmed and rode the…

Testament 12: He’s pouring out to us

The current events happening around the world has lead me to believe that the time I’ve always heard the church talk about is here. It’s strange to me how reality has become this surreal side show that has now taken centerstage. But what makes this whole ordeal just plain creepy is the fact that the…

Testament 11: Life is the Staging Ground for Eternity 

How can people do what is wrong and feel no guilt? The answer came to me while watching the sermon provided below. I have been told  “don’t go there.” Thing is, one of the most important parts of my testimony is on this place. It’s a place that we all seem to forget that Jesus…

Testament 10: U-turn

Saul of Tarsus (renamed Paul) was one of the most aggressive persecutors of the Christian church until one fateful day on the road to Damascus. Many nations and kingdoms have risen and fallen since then yet Damascus still stands (sort of). Ironically, this city is making worldwide headlines everyday. “Behold, Damascus is taken away from…

Testament 9: He is our constant 

You know I’m hearing a lot of pessimism surrounding the future. There’s so much chaos and confusion going on. Some have become angry and others have allowed the injustices of this world to make their hearts grow cold. I’d like to share with you all something that held true yesterday, holds true today, and will…

Testament 8: He will repair the mess we made

Most things happening around the world I cannot understand because the solution to these matters are not within my grasp nor any man’s capabilities for that matter. Any attempt at man to fix the mess happening in the world has been catastrophic. That’s because the only one who can fix it all is the ONE…

Testament 7: Don’t mess with Israel! 

“On that day, when all the nations of the earth are gathered against her, I will make Jerusalem an immovable rock for all the nations. All who try to move it will injure themselves.” (Zechariah 12:3) “Son of man, prophesy against Gog and say: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: I am against you,…

Testament 6: we are that generation 

“Many will rush here and there, and knowledge shall be increased.” (Daniel 12:4)”Many will rush here and there.” Is that not what people are doing now? We all think that we have so much to do that we forget who’s really in charge of our lives. We definitely are not; God is! So, what about…

Testament 5: closer 

The deeper I go, the more foreign I become to everyone around me. I gladly forsake everyone and everything for Jesus. Politics, money, status and all the odds and ends that are the driving force behind man’s ambitions no longer hold any value to me. I’ve answered the call and there’s no turning back for…

Testament 4: He holds it all together 

My husband had trouble getting to bed because he was so excited to finally have me home. We set out back and I observed him as he played with his new puppy. I looked at the two bond and was filled with so much gratitude. I completely forgot that only a few hours ago that…

 Testament 3: We will be without excuse 

I’ve never really cared about much of anything unless it affected me directly. That has changed. Last year 90,000 people were killed simply because they proclaimed the name of Jesus. The same anti-semitic culture that plagued Germany in the early 1900s has become a global pandemic.  No longer will we be without excuse. The truth…

Testament # 2: thrive 

When things are going well, I make sure to say thank you. When things are going horribly, I make sure to say thank you even harder. Try it out: when someone is rude to you smile, be kind, and then thank God for the experience. Then ask Him to use it for His glory. When…

I testify 

I was talking to a friend a few days ago. She said to me,”you sound like my aunt.” She would say, “I wish people would just try Jesus.” I heard this saying before but this time it was as if I was hearing it for the first time. That simple phrase embodies all the dialogue…